Dignity... We All Crave It, So Why Do We Keep Ignoring It?

Marriage is a lifelong affair that should not be started on the wrong footing or shaky foundation; otherwise you will regret it for the rest of your lives. There is need to put things right and start the relationship in such a way that it would last long and stand the test of time.

There are several reasons why you should save yourself for marriage and wait patiently until the wedding night. The night should be a time of discovery and presentation of the golden gift by one partner to the other.

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS IN THE COMMENT BOX BELOW. THEY WOULD BE TREATED PROMPTLY.

{Mama Helen Oritsejafor: From the Book "Basic Principles for Singles and Married" COMING SOON...}

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ATTRIBUTES MEN WATCH OUT FOR IN LADIES BEFORE PROPOSING

Dating can be tough, especially if you have kissed a lot of frogs along the way. If you think you have finally found the man of your dreams and are ready to settle down, you may wonder what types of things attract a man to marriage. You may be wondering what qualities men are looking for in a woman when it comes down to popping the question.

 Avoid being too clingy by losing yourself in him. Men often want a woman who shows some independence. Clinging to him and wanting to spend all of your time with him can make a man feel smothered. Giving him some space throughout your relationship shows that you have a life of your own. A man typically wants to marry a woman who has her own interests

Encourage him to hang out his good friends sometimes. Just as he wants a woman with a life of her own, he also wants a woman who doesn't hold him back from enjoying time with his friends or hobbies. Rather than becoming upset when he wants to hit the links once or twice a month instead of being with you, give him your blessing to go and have fun.

Show him that you are a total package. Men look for a woman who can be everything rolled into one. You can be a career woman, a nurturer, a little creative in the romance department, and the caretaker. Men want a woman who has it all, especially when it

comes to marriage. Marriage is a long road and a man enters into it hoping that the woman he proposed to can roll with the changes as they occur.

Remember the most important part of a man proposing--love. You can have every quality that motivates most men to propose, but if love isn't the driving force in your relationship, ask yourself if it's worth it. A man will propose if the relationship is meant to be and the woman is truly the right one for him.

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS IN THE COMMENT BOX BELOW. THEY WOULD BE TREATED PROMPTLY.

{Mama Helen Oritsejafor From the Book "Basic Principles for Singles and Married" COMING SOON...}

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QUALITIES WOMEN LOOK OUT FOR IN A MAN - PART 2

CHIVALRY

A good man is known by how he treats a woman. Respect for the women, small gestures shows whether a man is good or not. Very little gestures like holding doors, fumbling  hand to help her get out of the car and offering to fix things around her apartment work add magic to personality. Pushing the chair outward while making sit comfortably. These small gestures really work out and help in knowing what kind of person is your life partner.

MANNERS AND HYGIENE

You might dream for a rock star, C.E.O of world’s largest company or a bohemian lifestyle, but prefer men who are well-groomed and well clean. Men having habits like; Leaves their apartment too messy, doesn’t smell well, doesn’t wash clothes at the regular interval of time, all these habits should be avoided. Bad habits like shouting at you for every little mistake you make and speaking in rough language is never appreciated by women.

LOYALTY

Trust is the only key for a happy relationship. Having trust for one another take so long to attain and can be destroyed so quickly. It’s not a big issue that whether you are in a causal or serious relation but you should be loyal to your partner. The man you are dating with should be loyal to you. So a lot of us may finally settle on a very trustworthy person when we finally find him.

SUPER HOT

The first thing most ladies look out in a guy is if he is smart and handsome. Ladies wants their partner to be super-hot, that comes out good. Even when we know in our inner mind that inner beauty is more precious than outer beauty.

Choosing a man who comes out nice is good but women still wants a man who really has a beautiful heart and makes life beautiful and worth living them.

BEING A FRIEND FIRST

“Part-time lover and a full-time friend...” goes the popular song by Moldy Peaches. Well, that best sums up what women want in a man. Express your affection through simple gestures and small gifts - an impromptu massage, a heartfelt note and hand-picked flowers may cost little, but they can make a woman fall in love with you all over again. Be a friend, talk to her without judging her and let her know you’re there for her, come what may.

NOT BEING CLINGY AND DESPERATE

Take it from a woman - guys who try too hard to impress a girl, end up putting her off. Do not look too needy or act desperate. Women have special sensory powers to sniff out men who try too hard. The last thing a woman wants, is to have a clingy guy hanging outside her door. Be cool and confident, and trust me, she’ll want you even more!

Conclusively, as you take a good, long, contemplative look at your heart, what things do you see that need addressing, before you begin to offer your heart to, and join your heart with someone else’s heart? A good relationship will require from you a willingness to be authentic, someone who is comfortable in his or her own skin, who receives her feminine identity from Christ, not from the man she hopes to marry.

So, spend time with God and ask Him to show you what you need to know or happen in your heart before taking your final decision.

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS IN THE COMMENT BOX BELOW. THEY WOULD BE TREATED PROMPTLY.

{Mama Helen Oritsejafor From the Book "Basic Principles for Singles and Married" COMING SOON...}

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QUALITIES WOMEN LOOK OUT FOR IN A MAN

Since two women can’t be same, every woman has different type of criteria for men they are looking for. Women are the most complicated creature on the Earth. Every woman has its own “perfect man” of her dreams. It is impossible to know just what the mixture is supposed to be. Women criteria for a perfect wing man varies for boyfriend to husband. Here are the top qualities that every women look out in a man:

HONESTY

As we all know honesty is the best policy. Every woman value trust, mutual understanding in a relationship. If you lie in a relationship, then the chances of having a long relationship decreases directly proportionally to your lies. If she is looking nice in her new

dress, then say it loud and clear, she would love to hear those words from you. Don’t fool around with her feeling, with the pretext of “not hurting her feeling”. Tell her the truth, as

long as you can take care of not hurting her feeling. She will definitely respect your honesty and will be happy and grateful for it.

RESPECT

A good man is one who respects her ideas, feeling and thoughts while receiving his own respect back. 

If you always keep an eye on her, and doesn’t trust her it will definitely scare her off. Your constant attempts on having a eye check on her will not only turn your relation into sour but will also make her run for a cover. Encourage her to spend time with her friends or do whatever she feels like. You should respect her space and time.

SENSE OF HUMOR

Men with a good sense of humor understand the importance of making a woman laugh. A man with good sense of humor usually tops women attraction wish list and is one of the best way to turn her on.  Another key component of laughter is that when you are  a little depressed and unhappy, then the guy will make you happy, and if you are really interested in romance, then you will laugh at  jokes–even if they aren’t funny!

INTELLIGENT 

Men who are smart and hold a good intelligent conversation usually qualifies in a woman “perfect man” list. Intelligence is a very important factor a man should hold, when a guy is stupid, insane and boring it becomes very difficult to have a happy journey of life. When it comes to make important decisions, women expect from men to make right

moves and wiser decisions. Having an intelligent partner, will ensures you that your needs and demands will be satisfied with better understanding and communication.

THE ABILITY TO PROTECT

Women can stand up for themselves very well, but deep down in their heart they want someone who should protect them. Nothing pleases women more than “you are safe with me” assurance like offering to walk with you when it’s late in the night. The small gestures of men like putting their arms on you give a sense of protectiveness.

MONEY

Your better half should be loyal and able to provide for his family. Love can’t fill stomach. Having a rich, moderate, hard working and well -settled life partner gives you assurance that all your needs and demands will be fulfilled and your future generation will also be secured. Even when his earnings are not much, but for the fact that, he is able to provide or play his role, it’s very important in a relationship. It also gives him respect. Because the Bible state that any man that is not able to provide for his household or family is worse than an infidel.

A lot of guys these days look forward in dating or getting married to ladies who are well to do or hard working because they are not ready to work. In doing that, you are already losing your place as a man. Women are not looking out for such kind of men because they don’t want to be the man in their home rather having men that will show responsibility with even the little they have. Money helps in making your relation smoother and grateful.

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS IN THE COMMENT BOX BELOW. THEY WOULD BE TREATED PROMPTLY.

{Mama Helen Oritsejafor From the Book "Basic Principles for Singles and Married" COMING SOON...}

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IS THERE A SPECIFIC AGE FOR MARRIAGE? (PART 2)

ARE YOU READY TO COMPROMISE IN THE RELATIONSHIP?

Love your playstation? Love talking for hours on the phone? Or love just sitting back on the couch and swishing beer cans into the bin? Are you ready to give it all up for the sake of your relationship? What about food habits, sleeping habits and how long either of you take in the bathroom?

A marriage looks cute from the outside, but in real life, marriage is about love and compromise. And this compromise should come naturally. Many people in failing marriages say marriage is nothing but a compromise, and a give-and-take relationship. But that’s far from the truth. 

Marriage isn’t about compromise, love is. And it comes from the heart. You shouldn’t compromise to put up with your partner, you should do it only if it genuinely makes you happy. Lovers like pleasing each other with little acts of kindness and love, because it brings each other more joy and happiness. Are you ready to compromise for each other? Remember, you are going to live with each other now, and you are going to be sharing a lot more than a few hours every day.

CAN YOU HANDLE YOUR LOVER’S SHORTCOMINGS?

Now, as perfect as either of you are, none of us are entirely perfect. We come with our own packages of good and bad. Good is wonderful and sweet. But can you handle the bad? Can you handle it if your partner snores? Or gets up at three in the morning because they are hungry? Or leaves the toilet unflushed? Or perhaps, you or your partner feels lazy after work, while the other person likes to rest only after finishing all the chores. These are just a tiny part of the different shortcomings that we all come with. You may think you can definitely handle these things, but these shortcomings are actually the biggest reasons why relationships and marriages fail!

CAN YOU HANDLE EACH OTHER’S LIKES AND DISLIKES?

Over times, little details like likes and dislikes can make sharing together time an unbearable pain. He likes watching the game, while she likes watching a TV show? Or do you like Chinese food while your partner likes Indian food? While dating, these differences seem cute and adorable, but in a marriage, these are not cute acts that happen once in a while. You have to deal with it every single day. And it’s left to both of you to compromise and adjust your own likes and dislikes to match that of your partner’s. For a successful marriage, you need to match your likes and dislikes and compromise with each other’s demands.

SO WHAT’S THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED NOW?

Now that you know what it takes to hold on to a successful marriage, ask yourself the same question truthfully. Is this the right age to get married for you? Leaving the average age of marriage apart, are you and your partner really ready to move in together and live as a married couple? These five questions can seem really simple, but unless you give them a serious consideration, you might come back to this page a few months later and wonder how such small things became such unbearable issues that are tearing your marriage apart.

So always be cautious. Take time to decide, and give it enough thought. It’s easy to take a plunge into the ocean of love. But are you going to like the pleasant sensation or will it be a shocking and icy chill? These questions will give you the answer.

So what is the right age to get married for you? Now you know the answer, and really, the average age of marriage makes no difference, it’s these five questions that divide the happy marriages from the failed ones.

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS IN THE COMMENT BOX BELOW. THEY WOULD BE TREATED PROMPTLY.

{Mama Helen Oritsejafor From the Book "Basic Principles for Singles and Married" COMING SOON...}

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IS THERE A SPECIFIC AGE FOR MARRIAGE?

Many young men and women wonder about what the average age of marriage is, and what the right age to get married is. But instead of asking yourself what the best age to get married is, ask yourself these questions.

The average age to marry is unique and different across the world. But what is the right age to get married? And how can you ever tell if you’re too young to marry? The questions are many, but you know the truth, right? You can marry at any age, as long as both of you are in love. Or wait a minute, is it so simple? Can you really marry at any age, as long as you’re truly and deeply in love with each other? No, you can’t. Unfortunately, a successful marriage takes more than just true love to succeed.

ARE YOU READY TO MARRY?

Many people wonder if being eighteen or nineteen or even twenty is too young to get married. But there are so many things you have to consider. The right age to get married is a tricky way of looking at the problem. While the average age of marriage in several countries can give you some pointers, it’s not really personalized to give you the right answer.

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Here are five pointers that everyone who wants to get married has to look into. While being too young to get married can seem like a scary factor, there are bigger things to consider. So irrespective of whether you’re eighteen or twenty five, ask yourself these questions. And if you’re unsure of even one of these pointers, it’s probably not the best age to get married, for you or your partner.

You really have to consider all these options before getting married, or you may end up in an unhappy relationship, or worse, destroy yourself physically and emotionally.

DO YOU HAVE THE FINANCIAL STABILITY?

Is this the right age for you to get married? Getting married is a commitment that goes beyond sharing popcorn and watching movies, or going out for dinner dates. While your life doesn’t really change after marriage, a marriage brings with it a sense of financial responsibility. You can’t really ask your dad to give you a week’s allowance or pocket money. Are you ready to take on that burden of looking after yourself and your new family?Are both of you earning enough in steady, well paying jobs to live comfortably and manage any sudden expenses that come along the way?

ARE BOTH OF YOU EMOTIONALLY MATURE?

The average age of marriage in your country will not affect your emotional maturity. It’s for you to decide. You may be partying late, having a lot of fun, and not worrying about what you are going to do the next morning. But for two people to live with each other happily as a married couple, you need to be emotionally mature.

You may have had a lot to deal with over your teenage years, like college assignments, dating, errands, meeting your friends, and tons of other stuff. Now, you are going to have to deal with twice as much, because you have a partner who is going to have their own share of problems too. Can you handle that? You can’t really shut your room door and lock yourself anymore.Your mum isn’t going to be outside your room door after cleaning the mess you created. Once you are married, no matter how difficult life gets, you can’t shut your problems away. You have to face it like a mature person. Are you ready for that? Is your lover ready for that? 

To be continued next week. Please drop your comments and questions in the comment box below.

{Mama Helen Oritsejafor From the Book "Basic Principles for Singles and Married" COMING SOON...}
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STEPS TO PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE

Searching for the right person at the right time is critical because there are stages in the preparation and the seeking of true marriage love.

 There are a lot of things couples struggle with after they get married because they refused to go through the process of preparation beforehand. The preparatory stage can give your marriage an excellent start and help you create a marriage that will last a lifetime

1.      READ: The first thing to do is to read the Lord's Word for you. Every time we hear the Lord's Word and think about what it says, the Lord draws near to us. And the Lord is the source of all love, including the love that is in marriage.

   2.     PRAY: The second thing we can do is to pray for true marriage love. The Lord gives us what we truly want (if it is a good thing) and the more we want something, the more He provides it for us. True marriage love, the love between an angelic husband and wife, can be given to people on earth if they pray for it.

3. LOVE: The third thing we can do is to love other people. We cannot learn to love the person who we will marry unless we learn to love other people in general. Getting better and better at loving others prepares us to develop a special love for one special person. 

4. OBSERVE: The fourth thing we can do is to observe love in others. Look at people who  are happily married and see how they love each other. Such people can be models and mentors  for us, giving us a glimpse of something that we want for ourselves.

5. SHUN EVILS: The fifth thing we can do is to shun or turn away from all evils that oppose and harm marriage. Things that oppose marriage include those that make fun of it or make it seem less important and sacred, especially lust for more than one person. 

Further Reading: Genesis 29:1-20 

{Mama Helen Oritsejafor "Basic Principles for Singles and Married" COMING SOON...}
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